A mother’s experience of mixed feeding

Mixed feeding my baby boy Josh wasn't what I had planned. I had hoped to exclusively breastfeed, but because of some medical issues for us both immediately after Josh's birth, breastfeeding alone didn't prove enough to get Josh back on track towards regaining his birth weight. After a couple of weeks of valiant efforts, we introduced a formula top-up but I continued breastfeeding, starting each feed with breastfeeding before offering formula in a bottle designed to support breastfeeding. By about 3 months, the formula was the more significant proportion of Josh's feeds as we increased it due to ongoing concerns about his weight gain. By then, I was really wondering whether it was sensible to keep breastfeeding. I had already had mastitis twice in quick succession and there had been phases where Josh was very fidgety and sometimes seemed quite uninterested in breastfeeding. I spent a lot of time wondering whether there was any point in continuing…Although Josh seemed perfectly happy to do it most of the time, was it just getting in the way of his "proper" food (the formula)? Would he just stop wanting to bother at some point? Was it something I was really only doing for myself because I enjoyed it, without much real benefit for my baby? And was it worth the extra hassle when feeding out and about - including the awkwardness I often felt about doing both kinds of feeding and wondering what other (exclusive breastfeeding) mums were thinking about what, in my head, were my slightly pathetic efforts? Scientific studies, books and health visitors seemed to have little to offer me either - there was very little information out there about whether non-exclusive breastfeeding was really beneficial or not. But instinctively I felt it did have a value, both as food and as comfort for Josh. I kept telling myself I'd just keep taking it a couple of weeks at a time and consider each month with some breastfeeding an achievement, even if eventually it petered out.

So it was really unexpected to find that breastfeeding became more enjoyable, easier and - much to my surprise - incredibly important to how I fed Josh as he continued to grow. We both improved our technique and as Josh grew and got stronger it became much much easier for him to latch on. His fidgetiness proved to be just a phase and sometime after 3 months he settled into breastfeeding efficiently and happily at almost every feed (aside from occasional teething issues and the typical growing-baby interest in other things going on around him!) Then, at around 5 months, Josh got his first cold, quickly followed by his second and then a nasty tummy bug.

During these weeks, breastfeeding him became incredibly valuable - helping him relax and sleep when other methods failed, and ensuring he got fluids when he was tummy was too delicate for formula. It was a real relief to still have the option of breastfeeding to help us through these tricky weeks. I really don't know how I would have helped him cope without it. I'm looking forward to starting to wean Josh very soon, but no longer see breastfeeding as something that is bound to fade out any day. Instead, I see it as a really lovely part of our relationship that has a definite value, whatever other foods he is eating. I'm hoping we will both continue it and enjoy it for many more months. 

If another mum asked me for advice while facing problems making breastfeeding work for her and her baby, my first suggestion would be to find someone you really trust to help advise you on learning to breastfeed and see as much of them as you can. I wish I had done this myself, instead of getting sucked into a whirlwind of midwives and health visitors who expected us to come to endless check-ups, taking up a lot of our time in the first few weeks but with us rarely seeing the same people twice and so getting confusingly different advice. If you feel you need to make some time to see someone you trust, insist on getting it, however much you need to be monitored by health professionals. And my second response would be to try not to see mixed feeding as a failure, or a slippery slope towards exclusive formula feeding. For many weeks I felt that might be the case but it has proved to be a much more positive experience than I could have imagined. 

Anonymous - November 2014