The distractible baby
by Cordelia Uys, August 2024
In the first two to three months or so of their life, babies will breastfeed for a whole host of reasons: hunger, thirst, loneliness, boredom, pain and above all, the need for comfort and connection. They will usually breastfeed in a focused way throughout a feed, and not mind if their mother is talking, watching TV or sitting in a noisy environment.
Then sometime around 3 months, or sometimes earlier, it’s common for babies to change radically: they will often spend much less time on the breast, and it can become almost impossible to get them to stay on the breast if there are any nearby distractions. There are probably several reasons for these changes:
By around 2-3 months, a mother's breasts will have been programmed to produce exactly the right amount of milk for her baby, and the baby will often have become very efficient at the breast. Many babies will therefore be able to transfer all the milk they need in much less time than previously - sometimes in as little as 2 to 5 minutes.
Also sometime between 2-4 months, babies start to become aware of, and fascinated by, the world around them. Suddenly, in many cases almost overnight, babies will go from happily taking the breast whenever it’s offered and no matter how much noise and activity there is going on around them, and spending hours feeding, to only wanting to feed for hunger and thirst, especially during the day. They will no longer 'hang out' at the breast unless they’re sleepy, or unwell and will often happily go much longer without feeding, especially when out and about.
At this stage, trying to get a baby to breastfeed can be very frustrating. They will pop on and off the breast if there’s anything going on nearby. Many mothers find their baby will only feed lying down in a darkened room.
When babies hit this stage, it’s important not to try to force them to feed, or they might get annoyed and start refusing the breast altogether. It’s also best not to offer a bottle instead or breastfeeding can get derailed (see my article https://www.cordeliauys.co.uk/breast-rejection-after-bottles ). Parents often worry their baby isn’t feeding enough, but if they are continuing to produce wet and dirty nappies, and gaining weight as expected, they can be trusted to know what they need.
Links:
https://kellymom.com/ages/older-infant/distractible-baby/
Here’s a video of baby Sage getting distracted and pulling off the breast: