‘Why holistic sleep coaching is not sleep training’ by Kathryn Stagg, IBCLC lactation consultant and ABM breastfeeding counsellor

March 2021

Cordelia asked me to write about why Holistic Sleep Coaching is not sleep training. Here's my rather long take on it as a Holistic Sleep Coach!

Babies do not need to be taught how to sleep. Sleep is biological. Sleep is a state of alertness of which a baby goes in and out. Sleep works in cycles between deep sleep and light sleep. During light sleep babies often rouse to a quiet alert state or a fussy state. As with most things, babies often need help to navigate these changes of state. Some babies are more able to transition between states smoothly than others, it is partly to do with personality and partly genetic. It is also developmental stage just like walking and talking. And just like walking and talking they do it when they are ready and not before! When babies are learning lots of new things or in new environments or situations, they often need more support to settle to sleep.

"Sleep training" does not train your baby to sleep, it trains them not to ask for help when they need it. It works by taking away a response and expecting the baby to be able to regulate between awake and sleep states by themselves. But they are often not developmentally capable of doing this and cry out. If crying doesn't bring the help they need they eventually shut down and stop asking. This is called an extinction technique. But this is damaging of secure attachment and bonding. The baby is not getting their needs met. Research shows that a child who is securely attached to their primary caregiver will be more emotionally stable in later life and it fosters good mental health.

Holistic sleep coaching is not sleep training. It teaches parents about biologically normal sleep, about age appropriate sleep and about how baby transitions from one sleep state to another. It supports parents to be responsive to their babies whilst making small, gentle changes to protect strong attachment but maximise their babies' natural potential to sleep in an age appropriate way. Holistic Sleep Coaching is individualised to each family as everybody's situation is unique. It also protects the breastfeeding and bedsharing relationship, as these are both the biological norm. If parents wish to move away from these practices (ie night weaning or moving the child into their own sleep space) then gentle transitions and alternatives can be suggested. But it also acknowledges that saying "this too shall pass" is not helpful for a sleep deprived parent who is struggling to function.

If you would like more info on a 1:1 session you can drop me a message: https://kathrynstaggibclc.com/sleep-support/